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The Top 100 South Park Songs

Twenty years of unforgettable musical moments from our favorite redneck mountain town

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    Music has always been an integral part of South Park: PrimusLes Claypool sang the theme song; Rick Rubin produced the Chef Aid record; and co-creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have managed to rile up Kanye West and countless other musicians, actors, and celebrities with cool island songs to melt their icy hearts … or was it warm tropical songs … never mind.

    Since our favorite foulmouthed fourth graders are returning to Comedy Central for their 21st season this week, we dug deep into the South Park archives to handpick our definitive 100 songs in the show’s storied musical history. We’ve included music from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, but not Chef Aid or Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics cuts that didn’t appear, at least in part, on screen. We also ruled out songs by other artists that merely soundtracked the boys’ adventures. Otherwise, we took a walk down memory lane, way back to the early seasons when the boys were still third graders and ended at Season 20, which, believe it or not, gave us a top 10 inclusion.

    You know, we learned something today: Whether you only swear by the older episodes or you still avidly watch the new ones, there have been so many priceless musical moments in South Park’s history. Enjoy reliving some of these classic songs and scenes.

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    100. “Stinky Britches”

    From “Chef Aid”

    This song appears in some form in five different episodes but was first heard in “Chef Aid”, when Alanis Morissette stole the song from Chef. You bastard! –Killian Young


    99. “Little Bunny Foo Foo”

    From “Something You Can Do with Your Finger”

    Butters’ audition song to join Fingerbang. They’ll let him know. –Killian Young

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    98. “You and Cthulhu”

    From “Mysterion Rises”

    The Coon (aka Cartman) makes a new friend in the massive demon Cthulhu, who is naturally unleashed by BP’s unsafe, offshore drilling. Naturally. –Killian Young


    97. “Loving the Football”

    From “Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride”

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    If you follow Chef’s advice, you’ll never fumble again. You’ll also probably end up on a sex-offender list. –Matt Melis


    96. “Who’s Got the Greatest Mom in the World?”

    From “Tsst”

    Cartman can avoid punishment like Tom Sawyer could avoid work; here, he butters up Mrs. Cartman with a melodious little ditty that they’ve clearly sung countless times before. Nice harmonies. –Matt Melis


    95. “Hippitus Hoppitus”

    From “Fantastic Easter Special”

    The Hare Club for Men (brilliant) mash up the Latin Mass and “Here Comes Peter Cottontail” as they go to life-threatening lengths to preserve the long-eared secret of the Catholic Church’s origins. If only being a Catholic was actually like this. –Matt Melis


    94. “Imagination Song”

    From “Imaginationland Episode 1”

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    Matt or Trey clearly visited Disney’s Epcot Center as kids, suffered through that lame “Imagination” ride with the purple dragon, and decided to get back at the world by torturing us with their grating take on that attraction’s theme song … for three consecutive episodes. Imagination … ImagINation … IMAgin… A very grating gag. –Matt Melis


    93. “If You Leave Me Now”

    From “Casa Bonita”

    Do you think Chicago (the band) gets a few bucks each time Butters busts out his favorite adult contemporary rock hit of ’76? –Matt Melis


    92. “German Dance”

    From “Chef Aid”

    By our calculations, Cartman would have had to do the German Dance from this episode’s original air date nonstop through 2047 in order to raise the money needed to hire Johnnie Cochran and counter-sue the record company. And that’s not even taking into account sauerkraut expenses. Dance, German boy, dance! –Matt Melis


    91. “Crips and Bloods”

    From “Krazy Kripples”

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    Bill Cosby’s gonna sue somebody’s ass! –Matt Melis

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    90. “Carry on Wayward Son”

    From “Guitar Queer-O”

    Randy learns the hard way that playing real guitar just isn’t as cool as being a master of Guitar Hero. –Killian Young

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    89. “Dawg’s Crew Theme”

    From “Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy”

    When Cartman becomes the Hall Monitor of South Park Elementary, he is the dawg. The big, bad dawg. –Killing Young


    88. “Canada on Strike”

    From “Canada on Strike”

    The world economy grinds to a halt as our neighbors to the north declare they’re going on strike — with fully rehearsed choreography no less, buddy. –Matt Melis
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    87. “Cheesy Poofs”

    From “Roger Eberts Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods”

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    How lame are you if you don’t love Cheesy Poofs? Apparently, we’re “talkin’ Night Court in its fifth season lame.” –Matt Melis

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    86. “Jared’s Theme”

    From “Jared Has Aides”

    Too soon? –Matt Melis


    85. “Living in America”

    From “Let Go, Let Gov”

    I’ve yet to make it through a trip to the DMV without at least one person breaking out into James Brown. That’s why I always bring a cape. –Matt Melis


    84. “Hey People, You Gotta Drive Hybrids Already”

    From “Smug Alert!”

    We included this song on our list because we like to be part of the solution and not the problem. What … good for us? Thaaaanks! –Matt Melis


    83. “Why Can’t I Be Like All the Other Kids?”

    From “Here Comes the Neighborhood”

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    Basically, Token’s version of “A Lonely Jew Christmas on Christmas”. And that’s okay because #TokensLifeMatters –Matt Melis


    82. “My Best Friends”

    From “Spookyfish”

    Ever notice that the goateed “Evil” Cartman is a lot nicer than “Good” Cartman? Stan, Kyle, and Kenny sure do. –Matt Melis


    81. “Buffalo Soldier”

    From “Medicinal Fried Chicken”

    It’s impossible to unsee Randy Marsh pushing his massive, cancerous testicles around in a wheelbarrow as he (poorly) sings this Bob Marley classic. –Killian Young


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    80. “Follow the Only Road”

    From “It’s Christmas in Canada”

    Apparently, all Polish jokes become Canadian jokes in the South Park universe. Still, “watch out for Scott. He’s a dick!” –Matt Melis


    79. “I’ve Got Some Apples”

    From “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

    Sing this while shopping for fruit or peeing at a urinal, and life will seem a little less tedious: “Loo Loo, I got some apples…” –Matt Melis
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    78. “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

    From “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset”

    “Comes with video camera, night-vision filter, fake money, losable cell phone, and 16 hits of ecstasy! Let everyone see your coo-oo-ooch!” –Killian Young
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    77. “The Twelve Days of Christmas”

    From “Red Sleigh Down”

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    Need a stall tactic to make it home in time for Christmas presents — or just a running gag? Either way, you could do far worse than have handicapable Jimmy Valmer sing the longest song in the Christmas carol ca-ca-ca ca-ca-ca ca-annon. –Matt Melis


    76. “Wild Wild West Rap”

    From “Cat Orgy”

    It’s safe to say that Jim “Cartman” West and Artemis Clyde Frog’s 3-Dubya rap may be the only redeeming pop-culture moment to come from Will Smith’s late ’90s foray into being a cowboy. #MildMildWest –Matt Melis


    75. “Got to Buy Chinpokomon”

    From “Chinpokomon”

    A portmanteau of the Japanese word for penis and Pokemon, “Chinpokomon” parodied the Japanese craze for its crass commercialism. “I’ve got to buy it! I’ve got to buy it!” –Killian Young


    74. “Shitty Shitty Fag Fag”

    From “It Hits the Fan”

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    When the residents of South Park become free to say the word “shit,” all hell breaks loose. Mr. Garrison sings this tune to his kindergarten students, contributing nine times that the cuss word is said out of a total of 162 times in the episode. –Killian Young


    73. “Pokerface”

    From “Whale Whores”

    Sometimes, an artist covers a song and just makes it his or her own. This is not one of those times. –Matt Melis


    72. “Heat of the Moment”

    From “Kenny Dies”

    Our senators and representatives could learn a thing or two about productivity by joining together for a rousing rendition of Asia’s “Heat of the Moment”, like the one led by Cartman and Congress in South Park. –Killian Young


    71. “Wake Up Wendy”

    From “Chef Aid”

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    Stan finds his inner Bernie Taupin, Elton John plays Stan’s song at Chef Aid to impress Wendy, and Johnny Cochran’s heart grows three sizes in the process. Chewbacca defense? –Matt Melis


    70. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”

    From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

    Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo reminds us of the true meaning of Christmas: having enough fiber in your diet. –Matt Melis


    69. “Work Mexican Work”

    From “The Last of the Meheecans”

    Mantequilla (literally Spanish for “butter”) learns the toil of Mexican laborers. –Killian Young


    68. “The Yelper Special”

    From “You’re Not Yelping”

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    Would it really kill you to show the restaurant employees in your lives a little decency? –Matt Melis


    67. “Carol of the Bells”

    From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

    Ever see Beaker, the Swedish Chef, and Animal sing this holiday carol? Same concept, mmm’kay. –Matt Melis


    66. “The Circle of Poo”

    From “A Very Crappy Christmas”

    Mr. Hankey teaches his “nugget” son Cornwallis (his vocals are sung by R&B artist Louis Price) that “crap is everything” in this fantastic take on the Lion King classic “The Circle of Life”. –Killian Young


    65. “Work Slut”

    From “The Hobbit”

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    It’s a Britney (parody), bitch. The girls of South Park work out to perfect their Photoshop skills. –Killian Young


    64. “I Swear”

    From “Cartman Finds Love”

    You’ll never guess who ends up on the Kiss-Cam together at the basketball game. –Matt Melis


    63. “Bleeding Heart Protest Song vs. Pro War Country Song”

    From “I’m a Little Bit Country”

    It’s a battle of liberal and conservative views on the War in Iraq between Randy and Skeeter. –Killian Young


    62. “It’s Butters”

    From “Butters’ Very Own Episode”

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    We’re glad that Butters — the most innocent and gullible boy in South Park — got his very own theme song for his show wrought with terrible family drama. “That’s me!” –Killian Young


    61. “Sexual Harassment Panda”

    From “Sexual Harassment Panda”

    “When one little panda puts his furry, little willy in another little panda’s ear, that makes me a very sad panda.” And there’s nothing sadder than a sad panda, boys and girls. –Matt Melis


    60. “Lake Tardicaca Hula Girl”

    From “Crippled Summer”

    Okay, first, let’s all agree we’re going to hell just for listening. That being said, yeah, we want the ukulele solo! –Matt Melis


    59. “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel”

    From “Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo”

    Cartman naturally butts into Kyle’s rendition of this Hanukkah song to make fun of him for being Jewish. –Killian Young


    58. “Joseph Smith Was Called a Prophet”

    From “All About Mormons”

    Before The Book of Mormon, there was “All About Mormons”, South Park’s brilliant parody of Mormonism, which actually correctly depicts the major concepts behind the infamous religion. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. –Killian Young


    57. “My Robot Friend”

    From “AWESOM-O”

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    Cartman — disguised as the robot A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000 to find out Butters’ embarrassing secrets — finds the tables turned on him when he learns that Butters has an incriminating video of him. –Killian Young


    56. “PC Chant”

    From “Stunning and Brave”

    Is there any good reason social justice warriors haven’t officially adopted this chant yet? If not, I call woo-woo on them. –Matt Melis


    55. “Out of My Shell”

    From “Broadway Bro Down”

    Larry “The Vegan” Feegan might need a larger shirt and smaller life preserver, but you can’t deny his song for Shelly is incredibly sweet. And shout-out to the non-animated person at the end of the video for posting this. –Matt Melis


    54. “Ballad of James Cameron”

    From “Raising the Bar”

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    “You guys hearing the song OK up there?” –Killian Young
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    53. “Christmas Medley”

    From “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”

    Jesus and Santa sing Christmas classics about themselves, with composer Marc Shaiman (he did the music for the film version of Hairspray) on the piano. –Killian Young


    52. “Fight-in’ Round the World!”

    From “The New Terrance and Phillip Trailer”

    Making movies, making music, and fight-in’ round the world! –Matt Melis


    51. “A Chorus of Wieners”

    From “A Song of Ass and Fire”

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    South Park took a shot at George R.R. Martin’s graphic descriptions of penises in Game of Thrones; Martin hilariously responded, “I have to deny this as a scurrilous rumor. I have nothing against weenies, weenies are fine, but I am not obsessed with weenies. I am definitely on the boobies side of the equation.” –Killian Young


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