“So there I was/ Doing skate tricks at the park/ Then I jumped with too much force/ And I landed on a horse,” the Succession star sings as an explainer, before adding, “If I lean right or left/ He’d follow my every move/ And if I wanted him to go faster/ I’d just give him a bag of chips.”
As the race progresses, Culkin’s teen ska sensation plasters the horse’s backside with skate stickers, and even manages to nail an ollie, a backside 180, and a kickflip…but only if he asks the horse nicely.
Backed by a ska band of jockeys complete with the requisite trombone, the actor continues to narrate the action, revealing he made it all the way to the winner’s podium at Churchill Downs. However, just one verse later, the horse bucks him off and he’s tragically trampled to death on the race course. Watch the ska-mazing song below.
Elsewhere during last night’s episode, Culkin went through the nightmare of attempting to cancel his cable.
Meanwhile, Succession’s latest season is currently premiering new episodes every Sunday night on HBO Max. Three episodes in, Consequence’s resident TV critic, Clint Worthington, called Culkin’s performance’s as the sneering, smarmy Roman Roy “impossible to look away” from in his review of the season.